To borrow a page from the days of the oh-so-eco-friendly Pony Express, if cars were judged by their emissions alone, then these twelve dirty machines would have Wanted! written all over them. The law in this drawn-out analogy would be the folks at the American Council for an Energy-Efficient Economy (ACEEE), an independent Washington, D.C.-based non-profit that assigns ratings to cars based on fuel efficiency and emissions cleanliness. The council’s upstanding citizens posting the highest scores include Nissan’s electric Leaf and Honda’s Civic GX, which top the list with 54 points each. Kudos to them. But we’re here to look at a gang the green posse is after with freshly knotted ropes:
Bugatti Veyron; Bentley Mulsanne; Bentley Continental GTC
(19, 22, and 23 points, respectively…out of a possible 100)
What’s not surprising is that the mother-of-all-supercars is the top bad boy on the ACEEE’s list. What else do you expect when you’re packing an 8-liter, 16-cylinder engine that pumps out 1,001 horsepower, or roughly one horsepower for every two grand that you’ll spend on the Bugatti Veyron, the crown jewel of the Volkswagen Group (or what some might call the anti-Prius). After all, you’re not going to hit that 265 mph top speed merely sipping on premium gasoline. No, what’s amazing is that this modern legacy of Ettore Bugatti actually gets double-digit mileage on the highway – 15 mpg, to be precise (and 8 mpg city, if you must ask). And much like anyone who can afford to fly in a private jet isn’t likely to care much about the price of a commercial ticket in coach, folks who order either of the VW Group’s Bentley-badged confections aren’t likely concerned about the constantly rising price of gasoline. These aren’t cars so much as they are works of automotive art built for those who appreciate life’s finer things – and want people to notice that they do. The Mulsanne is Bentley’s flagship, a 5,700-lb QE2 on wheels that is propelled by a 6.8-liter V8 (hence the 11/18 mpg average, which is shared by the GTC). The interior of this mobile drawing room is a riot of leather and choice hardwoods, while the car stereo – if you can disparage it that way – comes with a standard 2,200-watt amplifier. The Continental GTC plays a similarly exclusive tune. However, with its two doors and folding roof, it’s more for country drives than state dinners. If you care about fuel efficiency and admirable emissions, forget these cars. But don’t pass up a ride in them. The wide-eyed child in you will thank you.
Chevrolet Suburban K2500/GMC Yukon XL K2500; Chevrolet/GMC 2500 Express/Savana cargo vans; GMC Sierra K2500
(20 points; 21 for the Sierra)
This gaggle of machines essentially represent toned-down versions of commercial people-and-things movers, which in optimum trim pack thirsty 6-liter V8’s generating around 350 hp (with as much valuable torque) that are capable of towing up to 10,000 lbs. These are working machines, through and through. Chevy’s Express and Savana cargo vans are likely to be what you see the FedEx guy rolling up in and not family purchases, unless your family likes to roll incognito big time. The Suburban/Yukon offer mileage of 10/15 city/highway mpg, the cargo vans 10/16 mpg and the Sierra 12 and 17 mpg. That most of these vehicles are likely trolling city streets during the majority of their working lives likely didn’t endear them to the ACEEE.
Dodge Ram 2500 Mega Cab
(20 points)
The heart of this Dodge monster truck is a Cummins engine that runs on diesel and is turbocharged, both of which no doubt account for putting the Ram‘s mpg numbers in the double and not single digits (13/18 city highway). Consider that this massive dually can pull 16,800 lbs. That’s roughly the weight of well-equipped 35-foot luxury motorboat that surely would fare even worse on this list of eco-violators.
Ford F-250; Ford F-150 Raptor; Ford Expedition/Lincoln Navigator
(20 points for the F-250, F-150 Raptor; 23 points for the Expedition/Navigator)
This Ford foursome offers a range of low-mileage options for working folks, off-road fanatics and families alike (12/16 mpg for the F-250, 11/14 for the F-150 and 13/18 for the SUV siblings). Both pickup trucks pack 6.2-liter V8s, the F-250 typically putting that to use on construction sites while the Raptor, true to its name, uses that power for more sporting purposes. Think Baja 1000, with just a few suspension tweaks. Meanwhile, the Blue Oval’s Expedition/Navigator duo offers 5.4-liter V8s that cart their occupants around town in upmarket interiors whose added weight no doubt only serve to dock points from its overall score.
Mercedes-Benz ML 63 AMG; Mercedes-Benz G 550
(21 points)
Although both these chiseled SUVs from Stuttgart get an estimated 11/15 mpg city/highway, they are vastly different machines. As the name suggests, this uber-ML has a 6.3-liter V8, 503-hp engine tuned by Mercedes’ AMG magicians. While it can comfortably coddle a family of four, that’s not really the point. Instead, this mean-looking variant of the otherwise tame ML is meant to take on BMW’s potent X5 M and the spiciest of Porsche’s Cayenne variants. Keeping that sort of company isn’t something that comes cheap, whether at the dealer or at the pump. The same goes for the G 550, although its image is less boy-racer and more urban assault vehicle stuffed with a 5.5-liter V8. Sharing the same numerals as Gulfstream’s $60 million super-jet, Mercedes’ four-wheeled so-called Gelandewagen has roots in military service, to which its still-boxy looks and spartan (if leather-draped) interior pay tribute. If you ever think you’ll need to battle not just the morning commute but also desert warlords, this is your vehicle of choice.
