Fat Women Don’t Need Permission To Refuse Coffee Dates
Last week, Tik Tok learned fat girls have standards when influencer Ashlei McPherson shared she turned down a coffee date with a potential suitor. The creator, @ashleiwithani, described her choice to take herself out instead of accepting the kind of date that she didn’t want.
“A man asked me for coffee today after work and I politely told him no, then brought myself to McAllisters where I got this croissant, this grilled chicken sandwich, and an entire bowl of broccoli, cheddar soup, and a Dr Pepper for under $25,” she said in her post.
“Now, I’m not going to argue with you about how you like to date, just like I don’t want you to argue with me about how I like to date, but coffee is never going to be an option for me. And just like, I respect your choice to coffee, respect mine to not coffee,” she concluded.
Suddenly, her comment section turned into a breading ground for fat-shaming. Because, society doesn’t believe a plus size women can be confident enough to turn down a date.
Preferences Come In All Sizes
This is not about a coffee date. If a quick trip to Starbucks is all it takes to get you to spend time with a stranger, that’s up to you. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m all for a caramel frappuccino-flavored chance at love. A woman shouldn’t be required to meet the whims of a man she does not even know because she is plus-size.
Related: Vogue’s ‘Hairspray’ Video Starring Gigi Hadid Missed The Plus-Size Plot
Lots of women state their distaste for coffee dates on TikTok. There is a whole subgenre of content on the platform but somehow when a fat woman dares to join the chorus there’s a problem?
McPherson clapped back with a series of hilarious videos where she stood ten toes down on her decision to decline caffeinated connections. She did not dissolve into tears or go out of way to prove her humanity. I was so happy to see that. We need more representations of Black plus-size women loving themselves despite what the world says.
We live in a hierarchical society that considers smaller women worth more. But the heart is not hierarchical. There are fat women existing who are living soft lives courtesy of men that love them. There are also skinny women swiping their own cards for dates with dusties every day.
If a man is interested in a woman, or if anyone is interested in anyone for that matter, they will meet the standards set by the person they are pursuing. The person standing on business about their standards and refusing to settle, ends with the happily ever after.
Fat Women Don’t Need Permission To Refuse Coffee Dates was originally published on hellobeautiful.com
