B Swift & Devin Holyfield Talk Men’s Mental Health and Healing
B Swift & Devin Holyfield Talk Men’s Mental Health and Healing
- Emotional suppression from young age shapes men's self-worth and coping mechanisms.
- Holiday expectations exacerbate mental health struggles, but men are conditioned to 'power through'.
- Breaking cycle of emotional suppression requires intentional effort, trusted support system.
B Swift & Devin Holyfield Talk Men’s Mental Health and Healing
As the holiday season approaches, conversations around joy, family, and celebration dominate the airwaves.
But for many men, especially Black men, the holidays can quietly intensify stress, anxiety, and emotional pressure.
Expectations to provide, remain strong, and suppress emotion often collide with financial strain, unresolved trauma, and mental exhaustion.
On a recent episode of Guys Guide, powered by Eskenazi Health, B Swift sat down with Devin Holyfield, CEO and visionary of Healthy Masculinity, to have a necessary and honest conversation about men’s mental health, emotional conditioning, and the tools men need to survive and heal during high-pressure seasons.
From an early age, many boys are taught to equate strength with silence. “Don’t cry.” “Man up.” “Be the man of the house.” While these phrases are often intended to build resilience, they frequently place adult-level responsibility on children before they’ve had the chance to fully develop emotionally.
Holyfield explained how hearing “be the man of the house” at a young age reshapes how boys view responsibility, pressure, and self-worth. Instead of growing into adulthood, many young men are forced into survival mode — becoming protectors, providers, and emotional anchors without guidance on how to process fear, grief, or stress.
Over time, this emotional suppression doesn’t disappear. It compounds.
Holiday Pressure and Mental Health
As Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year approach, expectations increase. Men feel pressure to provide gifts, food, stability, and emotional leadership often at the expense of their own wellbeing.
Even when families don’t explicitly demand perfection, internalized expectations can create overwhelming stress.
Holyfield emphasized that mental health struggles during the holidays are common and valid.
Anxiety and depression tend to intensify during this time, yet men are often conditioned to push through rather than speak up.
The result is a dangerous cycle: pressure builds, emotions remain unexpressed, and men reach a breaking point — what many now refer to as “crashing out.”
One of the most practical moments in the conversation came when Holyfield shared simple, coachable tools men can use when emotions feel overwhelming.
He highlighted the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method, a technique designed to pull someone out of mental spirals and back into the present moment:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
This method helps regulate the nervous system and slow emotional escalation, especially for men who are constantly thinking ahead rather than staying present.
Movement was another key tool. Whether it’s a walk, light exercise, or stepping outside for fresh air, physical motion helps release tension and restore balance. Even small actions can have a meaningful impact.
Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Suppression
B Swift and Holyfield also explored why many men struggle to express emotion even in adulthood.
Cultural expectations, upbringing, and societal norms teach boys that vulnerability is weakness which is a lesson that often follows them into relationships, fatherhood, and leadership roles.
Breaking this cycle requires intentional effort. It means retraining the mind to accept that emotional expression is not failure, but self-preservation.
It also means building a “personal board of directors” and trusted individuals who offer support, accountability, and honesty without judgment.
A Necessary Conversation
This episode of Guys Guide wasn’t about quick fixes or surface-level motivation. It was about acknowledging reality that men are human, that pressure is real, and that healing requires community, tools, and honesty.
As the holidays approach, this conversation serves as a reminder: strength is not silence. Asking for help is not weakness. And surviving the season matters just as much as celebrating it.
If you or someone you love is struggling, help is available.
📞 Call or text 988 — you are not alone.
To learn more about Devin Holyfield and Healthy Masculinity, visit hmforblackmen.org and follow @hmforblackmen on social media.
